Teachable Moments...

As I was driving this week, I was brainstorming about what I wanted to write about in my next blog. The phrase “teachable moments” popped into my head, so I started thinking of how I have used unexpected opportunities to provide “nuggets” of information that change the way people view sexual and domestic violence.

I remember when I got my first job, working as a Sexual Assault Intervention Specialist for the US Navy in San Diego. Just before I started my new position, I went to a Thanksgiving dinner with my relatives. I remember specifically talking with my family about how frequent sexual assault is, and how most of the time the victim knows the perpetrator. I had a similar experience a few years later with my parents, after they listened to a radio interview early one Sunday morning.

I remember countless occasions where I have told someone what I do for a living – that I work in the field of violence against women. The conversation either went one of two ways: – Either “Wow, that must be hard work,” or a nod and a change of conversation. When the door was open, I tried to find a way to make at least one statement they could walk away with. I specifically remember one occasion where I was getting a pedicure, and the woman asked me what I do for work. After telling her what I do, she disclosed years of domestic violence, both witnessing it as a child and later as a victim herself. I was not only able to offer her someone to talk to, but also to share that other women had experienced similar violence as she had, which seemed to help her feel less alone and isolated.

Most recently, I went out to dinner with a friend of mine. On the way home, while we were talking about our children, the topic randomly changed to keeping our children safe from strangers. I took the opportunity to first validate the importance of being mindful of strangers, but also shared the truth, that unfortunately, most children who are abused know the person who is harming them. She was shocked, especially when I told her how many children are sexually abused.

These teachable moments have proven to be very effective for me, with my own family, my friends, in the community, and when working with professionals. I realize changing perceptions takes time. Each little nugget helps, and they can build upon each other.

I am going to share more experiences of using teachable opportunities, and I hope to hear some from you as well. How have you used a teachable moment with a criminal justice professional, or a community partner?