Last week, I read this article
in the Washington Post by former Penn State football player LaVar Arrington
about the Sandusky case. In this article, Arrington reflects on knowing one of
the victims involved in the case, and more specifically, how he now feels about
not knowing what this young man was going through.
This one quote in particular really spoke to me: “I will never just wonder why a child is mad. I
will never just assume ever again. I will always ask, and let them know that
it’s okay to tell the truth about why they are upset.”
Most victims of sexual abuse don’t come right out and say
what is happening to them. They may, or may not, exhibit certain behaviors as a
result of the abuse. In this article, Arrington points out that this particular
victim always seemed mad or distant.
What struck me about this particular article related to the
Sandusky case – and there have been plenty of articles about this case – was
the honest reflection of an athlete and the sense that those of us in the field
sometimes say – “he (Arrington) gets it”!
When you work in the field of violence against women, you
realize quickly that some people share your views, and some don’t. The ones
that “don’t get it” are quick to make victim blaming comments, downplay
instances of abuse, question why some victims delay in their reporting, or
chalk this case up to a quest for financial gain.
The ones that “get it” give those in the field excitement
and energy, often enough energy to keep us pushing through with this work when
it seems like nothing will ever change.
Now, I can’t comment on whether Arrington “gets it” with all
aspects of sexual and domestic violence, but it is critical to acknowledge such
a response when we see it.
Alison Jones-Lockwood,
Social Media/Outreach Coordinator, EVAWI
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